2020 Presidential Debate #1

September 30, 2020

image/svg+xml Tonighton FNNThe 2020 presidential debate, betweenJoe Biden and Donald Trump Joe Biden Donald Trump Okay, for our first segment,we're going to talk about coronavirus andhow you two intend to fix it. I've done a great jobwith Coronavirus. Anyone whosays I didn't is fake news. The fact is, everything he'ssaid so far is a lie. The fact is, hisadministration is strippinghealthcare from peoplewhen they need it most. Fake News!Democrats arethe ones strippinghealthcare! Listen, we will discuss healthcare inthe next segment. Joe, you can have twouninterrupted minutes to talk. The fact is, our current president is stupid. The fact is, his handling of coronavirushas been absolutely terrible. FAKE NEWS!FAKE NEWS! Mr. PRESIDENT, willyou please not interrupt? The fact is, two hundredthousand Americans have diedof Coronavirus, and its because of yourawful handling of the situation. I don't even want to know where you pulled thatnumber out of, Joe. WILL YOU PLEASESHUT UP, MAN ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!NEXT SEGMENT! How do you intendto improve healthcare? Biden, yourtwo minutesstarts now. I int--- Just so you know,ObamaCare is really stupidand doesn't work. I thought we agreedon thetwo minutes thing! That meansno more interruptions! He alsointerrupted! Gentlemen! Please stop! Joe, stop strangling Mr. President!Oh no, Mr. President, don't punch Biden in the face! Hey! Stopdoing that! You know what, this isn't worth three hundredthousand dollars a year. Tell my boss I quit.

I would have made it much better, but that would have been like a 4x10 comic and I didn't really want to do that. This is the actual debate - Funnier than Comedy Central any day

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